Object sexuality: heard of it? It’s a syndrome that causes people to fall in love with objects and identify them as a gender, give them a name, and have what they believe is a fulfilling, loving, relationship with these items. Yes, you read that right: there are (at least 13) people in the world who have fallen in love with, and married, inanimate objects (and you thought your love life was complicated).
OS is defined as “a pronounced emotional and often romantic desire towards developing significant relationships with particular inanimate objects.” Individuals with this expressed preference may feel strong feelings of attraction, love, and commitment to certain items or structures of their fixation. For others, sexual or even close emotional relationships with humans are incomprehensible and undesireable. Object-sexual individuals (people who enjoy the company of, and marry, inanimate objects) also often believe in animism, and sense reciprocation based on the belief that objects have souls, intelligence, feelings, and are able to communicate.
How many people have married inanimate objects? Can people marry pillows? You’ll find out all you want to know about object sexuality, and maybe some things you don’t want to know, in this list of people who married non-living things.
He Choo Choo Chooses It: Man Marries Steam Engine Train
“A love affair could very well begin with a broken radiator,” Joachim says, “Repair jobs have often led to infidelity in the past.” But they always seem to plow through it and stay together somehow.
He stresses that people like him (the people on this list) aren’t just fetishists. “For some people, their car becomes a fetish which they use to put themselves in the limelight. For the objectum-sexual, on the other hand, the car itself – and nothing else – is the desired sexual partner, and all sexual fantasies and emotions are focused on it.” Needless to say, this guy loves to fix things.
He realized he had a “thing” for things when he was 12. He’s currently 45. He loves his train like he would a person, according to him: “you can reveal yourself to an object partner in an intimate way, in a way that you would never reveal yourself to any other person…[even] experience sexuality together.”
[insert sex-train pun here]
May Their Love Never Be Brought Down: A Woman Marries the Berlin Wall
Berliner-Mauer says she fell in love with the structure when she first saw it on television at age seven, she refers to it as “he” and she collected his pictures until she could save up enough money to visit. On her sixth trip in 1979, they tied the knot before a handful of guests.
While she technically remains a virgin, she insists she has a full, loving relationship with the wall.
When the Berlin wall was brought down 1989, Berliner-Mauer was horrified as she watched her husband being brought down. She has not been back since and now keeps models depicting “his” former glory.
“What they did was awful. They mutilated my husband,” she said. She has since been said to have shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence. So, because the wall doesn’t look as good as it did in 1979, you’re just gonna leave him for another rampart? Apparently, Berliner-Mauer partakes in sexual stimulation with this fence by rubbing herself on it… like a cat in heat.
Berliner-Mauer, said: “I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy. The Great Wall of China’s attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier.”
There’s nothing left to say after that really.
Game Over: A Man Marries a Video Game Character
While normal people worry about growing apart, Sal9000 has to worry about the fact that the Nintendo DS is completely outdated at this point and Gamestop will not take returns on used equipment.
In the video above, a guy marries a video game.
The Ride of Her Life: A Woman Marries a Roller Coaster
Amy had ridden the ride over 3,000 times before they were married, I guess that’s her version of a normal courtship, she sleeps with a picture of the ride on her ceiling and carries spare nuts and bolts from it in her pocket, so that way they are always together…. just what you like to hear… a fair ride having “extra parts.”
Amy claims they have a fulfilling physical and spiritual relationship, and she doesn’t get jealous when other people ride her husband. Oh, and Weber is the name of the ride’s manufacturer; Amy changed it after she was married.
The Architecture of Her Love: Woman Marries the Eiffel Tower
“I thought everyone had a connection to objects in one way or the other. It really wasn’t until I saw that they were dating each other and I was dating a bridge, that I was different. I just went to school and pretended I was like everybody else,” she said.
Her love of objects served her well; she became a world-class archer and won a $250,000 scholarship to the United States Air Force Academy, all thanks to her attraction to the F-15 fighter jet. She said when she saw the F-15 she thought, “I’d like to get to know this jet. Kind of like a guy goes to a bar and he sees a really nice-looking girl and he, he wants to go sit next to her, buy her a drink and get to know her more. Well, I kind of felt that way about the F-15.”
However, her love of objects got her discharged from the Air Force, ridiculed by her peers, and abandonment by her family.
That’s when she found true love, with the Eiffel Tower. “Her structure is just amazing. You know, she’s got subtle, subtle curves, you know,” that’s how Eiffel describes her wife. Erika Eiffel participated in a commitment ceremony with the Eiffel Tower. “I will tell you that I know love is being reciprocated,” Eiffel said. “I’m happy, I’m not hurting anyone, I’m not hurting myself, I’m not being held back. I love my life.” C’est la vie!
I guess she really had to burn all her bridges to get to that point…
Talk About a Family Tree: Bollywood Actress Marries a Tree
The ritual is allegedly to help overcome differences in the couple’s astrological charts – disparities which traditional Hindus believe have negative consequences on marriage. Under this ancient belief, Rai is considered a ‘manglik’ because her chart bears the planet Mars, and she must be ‘married’ to a peepal tree, a banana tree or a silver or golden idol of the Hindu god Vishnu in order to overcome the devastating effects being a ‘manglik’ could have on her impending nuptials.
Rai was also hit with a lawsuit, so it didn’t take away ALL bad luck; she faced a civil lawsuit for practicing the ‘untouchability’ service, which is associated with the caste system, because such ceremonies are in violation of the Indian constitution and are deemed offensive to women.
His Bride Is Such a Doll: A Man Marries a Barbie Doll
Apparently, the ceremony was quite elaborate. Barbie’s so spoiled with her dream house and yacht that he had to show her a better way to live by having the wedding take place at his local Buddhist temple.
The man believes the doll houses the spirit of his wife, Tsai, who killed herself 20 years ago because his family opposed their marriage.
According to the news story, “the ceremony appeared to be a wedding like any other, with the bride’s anxious family waiting outside the temple for the groom’s arrival beforehand.”
The bride wore a wedding dress, complete with gold jewelery and rings and a gold necklace that had belonged to Tsai was placed on the doll. Tsai’s dowry was also included in the ceremony, represented by a paper model of a red Mercedes car. It was then burned so she could use it in the afterlife. How had she been getting around all this time?
After the wedding, Chang and his new bride returned to their home together with the urn that contained Tsai’s ashes. He clearly carried her over the threshold.
The urn will be placed at their home, and from now on, Tsai will be regarded as a member of their family. The groom’s family have asked for Tsai’s forgiveness by giving their blessing to the marriage, thus placating her spirit.
Chang Hsi-hsun said: “I have waited for this day for 20 years. Even after all this time, I feel in love with her. Now I will marry her spirit and take her home. We will be finally together and able to live in peace.”
But before you get all sentimental, Chang did not spend 20 years alone, he remarried after Tsai’s death and this ceremony was carried out with his current wife’s blessing. Yes, current wife. He is still married.
Barking Up The Wrong Tree: Woman Marries 100 Year Old Ficus
“The tree is the focal point of a very sweet neighborhood park, and without it, the park would just be a vacant lot,” she said.
Cooper hopes marrying the tree will call attention to its importance and keep it from getting cut down.
A Picture Perfect Marriage: Man Marries a Picture of Himself
The wedding took place in the square of Guanzhou Village before friends and weirded out local villagers. All of the ancient Chinese wedding traditions were honored including the bride kowtowing to heaven and earth, to ancestors and to the elderly aged 90 and over. Bride and groom made the traditional rounds of toasting guests during the banquet.
Remarked one guest, “It is a real grand wedding except that the bride is a photo.” Oh, just that one little thing?
Self described as “an angry Chinese youth at best,” Liu Ye denies he is gay but does admit to being “a little bit narcissistic.” Just a little!?! Ye said, “marrying myself is a process of deconstructing and reconstructing myself. I make use of the wedding to reconsider opposite-sex marriage. My behavior seems ridiculous, but I am traditional and conservative in heart so the wedding ceremony is traditional.”
Yeah, totally conservative and traditional… he’s just crazy enough to fit in with the conservatives here in the States!
Whole Lotta Love For Technology: Man Marries iBook
While most men look at porn sites, Bill looks at ebay and says “I’ve often flirted with many a sweet laptop on eBay and felt true desire,” but he never strays. Like any other person that suffers from objectum-sexuals, Rifka gave a gender to his object.
“To me, my Mac is male. I’m living in a homosexual relationship, so to speak.”
Not that there’s anything wrong with that….
She’ll Never Say No: Man Marries Sex Doll
So you go ahead and put the blame on the fact that women “talk to much” and not that you can’t get a girl with a pulse.
Her Heart Is a Stereo: Woman Marries a Radio
“Emma” is a bit of a loner but says, “I would like to meet more people and to have friends,” she says, “but I just think it is too difficult now. I am scared they will reject me.
No Stone Left Unturned: Woman Marries Pet Rock
A Good Night’s Rest: Man Marries a Pillow
The groom wore a tux and the pillow wore a picture of the face of popular anime vixen, Fate Testarossa.
He married a pillow.